Jackson

My little boy is now 15 days old. The time has flown quickly by in some ways, but in others it feels like I should still be pregnant! As I watch him sleeping in his swing, I am blown away by how much I love that little person. He is so sweet and has been such a great baby so far. When I think about how quickly our lives changed, it blows me away.

On Tuesday, February 2, I got up thinking I felt different and that I might have a baby very soon, but I never dreamed I would have him by that afternoon! I went to work as usual but was having contractions (which I had been having for a month anyway) and just didn't feel well. By mid-morning my contractions were fairly consistent at 25 minutes apart. By my lunchtime, I was restless and couldn't sit down comfortably, and contractions were still coming every 25 minutes or so. I decided to go home and try to relax, but still didn't think I would have him until later that night or the next day. By the time I got home, Tyler was home as well, and we got our bags together, took showers, and prepared to go to the hospital. I called my doctor's office, and they told me to wait a while longer before coming to the hospital. So, we settled down on the couch to watch some LOST and wait out the contractions. That was about 1:00 p.m. My contractions still came 25 minutes apart, and weren't getting any closer really. Then, at 2:30 p.m., my water broke. That really got things moving! We loaded up quickly in the car and headed to Little Rock. Meanwhile, my contractions suddenly began coming every minute and a half or so! By the time we got to the hospital, I was feeling the need to push! Tyler dropped me off at the front door and I ran (as best I could!) to labor and delivery. The nurses told me that they did not have an open room, but they were cleaning one, and I would have to "sit in the waiting room and try to relax". Telling a woman in the end stages of labor to relax... whatever. I found a corner in the waiting room, faced the wall, and tried not to yell loud enough to scare the other people sharing the waiting room with us. This waiting period was the most intense 25 minutes or so of my life. Finally, Tyler pulled me through the doors and into the labor and delivery unit and demanded a bed and a room, which they were still in the process of cleaning. Once I got settled into the bed (at about 4:00 p.m.) and the nurse checked me, I was dilated to 9, almost 10, and completely effaced. This rallied the troops, and thankfully, the next person I got to see was the anesthesiologist! I was able to get a small epidural and got enough pain relief to relax and breathe. About this time, my mom showed up and Tyler was just glad I had calmed down. Then, just a few minutes later, my doctor was there and it was time to push! I pushed for about 25 minutes, and at 5:25 p.m. my sweet babylove came into this world at the tiny size of 5 lb, 14 oz and 18 in long. He had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, and two large knots in his cord. Any more time in my belly, and there might have been serious complications. It was just God's protection that he came out when he did. He had aspirated on meconium in the amniotic fluid and was breathing very fast. He also had some trouble keeping his body temperature up. It was over an hour after he was born before I was able to hold him for the first time, because they were keeping a close eye on him and had him on the warmer.

The whole birth experience was definitely a great one for me. I found strength that I did not know I possessed, and I know it was the Lord being strong for me. At the moments I thought that I could not complete this task, the Lord was there whispering in my ear that I could (usually through my mother and my husband, who were both great comforts to me). When I realized how the Lord had protected my child when I didn't even know he needed to be protected, my heart crumbled before Him. How many times has He protected me when I did not even realize I was in danger? How much must He love me, if in my humanness I am capable of loving my child this much? The past two weeks have changed my life completely. They have drawn Tyler & me closer than I ever thought possible. My view of the Lord and his grace, mercy, and strength has come into clear focus.

As we continue on in this journey of being parents, I know He has a lot more lessons for us to learn, and a lot more mercy to pour out on us!