Who's fighting for your marriage? 

We've been married almost nine years now, and most of our marriage has been lovely. We love each other, we like each other, we want to spend time together. But marriage - as anyone who's been married longer than a day knows - isn't always roses and candlelight. Babies come and you don't sleep and jobs are stressful and money is tight and life is hectic. Even the most compatible, God-breathed marriages go through stressful times. Dare I say, the enemy goes after those marriages even harder because you're trying to glorify God and walk out marriage as He intended. Marriage is the center of God's design for families, and we need to place the emphasis on it as much as He has. 

I am so thankful to have a tribe of women who fight for my marriage with me. When we have a tough day, when I get frustrated, when things don't go as planned - with one text or one phone call, I am surrounded with life giving words. These are friends who care, who want our marriage to succeed, who refuse to let us get bogged down with day to day life. They know what we are up against: Tyler's late nights at work, sleepless seasons with infants, trying to balance jobs and family life and each other. They know what we are up against,  because they are up against it too. They've walked with me through infertility, job changes, and all the little things that add up to big stressors on your marriage. 

My friend Kate told me - keeps telling me, on every occasion necessary - that she is 100% committed to my marriage succeeding because she was in my wedding as a bridesmaid. She and her husband feel that if they are involved in your wedding, they are responsible as witnesses to do everything possible to help you uphold your marriage. That thought completely changed my perspective on fighting for marriages. I've adopted her philosophy as well and am trying to be more purposefully involved by praying for the marriages of those I've witnessed. I count it an honor and privilege to stand in the gap for my friends' marriages. 

So I ask again, when your marriage goes through the harder times that it invariably will, WHO is fighting for your marriage? Who's got your back? Who encourages, prays, speaks life to you? Who points you back to Christ at the center of your relationship? If you don't have these people around you, FIND SOME. Make it a priority. Start by praying for the marriages of people you are close to, and I promise God will bring you a handful of armor-bearers to fight for your marriage. 

This has been a whirlwind of a week. July 2015 was the most incredibly tough month, and now August 2016 is shaping up to be a roller coaster as well. 

We got an offer on our house and went under contract this week, as well as had an offer accepted on the house we are going to buy. We were only given 17 days from contract to move out, and that has started a chain reaction that is quite like knocking over a house of cards and then attempting to label which card went where. We are 100% sure that God is leading these steps, as it slowly taking a very different shape than we imagined - but in such a good way! 

We've started boxing up our house, and with every box I feel that I am putting up pieces of my heart. When we bought this house, we were young fairly-newlyweds with very little money and no furniture to speak of. We were coming from a 450-sqft apartment, so it felt huge. We fell in love with this house the moment we peeked into the empty windows, and took pictures of every little thing. I still have our "pros" and "cons" list from when we were deciding if it was the right house for us. Just days after we moved in, we found out we were expecting our first baby. From this house, we have commuted to Ft. Smith, Russellville, Morrilton, Little Rock and North Little Rock, and been through countless job changes as the Lord has slowly shifted us to allow me to stay home full time. Tyler started and finished his masters here, we brought all three of our babies home from the hospital here, grieved for a miscarried baby here, celebrated our big kids first birthdays and first Christmases here. Tyler and I have each lived at this house longer than either of us lived anywhere else in our lives.  

I know that a house does not a home make, but these walls have sheltered us from life's storms and greeted us on days when the world seemed against us. The kids have stood in the window watching for their daddy every night for years now. The front door has had many friends and family pass through. Our backyard has been a fort, a castle, a soccer field and a bouncy house. These floors that Tyler laid piece by piece, on his hands and knees for me, have watched my babies learn to crawl and then walk. The garage has seen many projects and indoor play times on rainy days. The closet in the master bedroom has heard countless tearful and whispered prayers. The kitchen counters have held kids and flour while we baked Christmas treats and birthday cakes and cinnamon rolls. Our living room has been a racetrack, a train track, a lava pit and a pool; we've pulled in lawn chairs to hold people for our annual couples' fantasy football draft or kids' birthdays. 

It, quite frankly, breaks my heart that my kids most likely will not remember this house - but I will. I will cherish our memories here deep in my heart and remember when my sweetheart bought me my little dream house, then wipe up my tears, pack some more boxes, and look forward expectantly to the next adventure that God is orchestrating. 

I normally don't write about politics or current events - I like to stick with things happening in my own life, Disney planning, and the like. However, this recent Target boycott has gotten me thinking and I just have to write down my thoughts on this issue. First off, let me say, it disturbs me on a very basic level that our society has come to the place that this is even an issue. I'm a woman, who frequently has children with me many places I go. I always choose the family restroom (Target is famous for having a family restroom in most of their stores) if it's a possibility, and if not, I keep my kids with me in the biggest stall available. I don't think men should be allowed in women's restrooms or vice versa. But that is not the issue at stake here. 

I am not going to boycott Target. I like Target. I have a red card, and it's right by my house. I buy a lot of things there and will continue to do so. Why am I not joining the boycott? 

Because I don't think it's what Jesus would have done. In the Bible, Jesus didn't run away from the people who didn't agree with Him. He didn't pout when things didn't go quite His way. He didn't slander people's (companies) reputations and stand on the street corner warning His followers to avoid doing business with them at all cost.  That's not how He operated at all. I don't think I've ever talked to a single soul who said "yeah, I wasn't a Christian until I heard about Christians boycotting Starbucks/Disney/Target and thought, man, they have it right! So I decided to become a Christian." --- nope, no one is ever going to do that. Because those actions aren't graceful and Christlike. Why do we Christians go around expecting the world to act like anything other than the world? Society at large is never going to agree with us as Christians - that's why we are called to walk in truth and light in a world of ever increasing darkness. 

We as Christians, I think, need to be a lot less concerned with where we are shopping and a lot more concerned with making sure people are clothed, fed, and loved in our own community. I don't care if you buy food for the homeless shelter at Target or Wal-Mart or Kroger. The question needs to be, ARE WE feeding people? Are we telling people in the world who are lost and hurting and have never experienced the grace and mercy of a loving God, "hey! You! You are loved, you are precious, and you were made in the image of God. You have a purpose and a hope if you will only accept that hope from Christ." Are we spreading Christ's aroma throughout this world, or are we becoming stale and a little stinky? 

I definitely don't agree with Target's stance on this, but there are many things on a daily basis I don't agree with in this world. In fact, I think my little family and I generally swim the direct opposite way of the current of social norms right now. And that is alright. I don't go around yelling about people who make different choices than I do. God loves each of us the same -and we are all sinners in need of a Savior.

 Every. Single. Soul. On. Earth. Needs Jesus. Needs hope. Would be destined for eternity in hell without accepting Christ as Lord. 

And it's our call as Christians to spread that hope - not to spread animosity and bitterness and ugliness like a group of middle schoolers! So instead of boycotting Target, I'm gonna keep shopping there, praying as I go in that God grants me opportunities to love on His other children who are shopping or working there, too.