Snowmaggedon!

Well, folks, I don't know what it's doing in your part of the country, but here in Arkansas, theentire state is shut down for what the news stations have dubbed Snowmaggedon, Snowpocalypse, or Snowplosion - depending on which station you are watching.

It certainly is snowing, don't get me wrong. And it's now deep enough that I can't distinguish driveway from grass or road. I haven't seen a single car go down my road since it started at 8 a.m. But isn't Snowmaggedon a little dramatic?

My husband is considered "essential personnel" at his job, and must be there, so he packed a bag this morning and headed off into the white unknown. I'm thinking he'll probably be there until tomorrow, sleeping in his office. Poor guy. I miss him, but at least I know he is safe and warm, with a generator at the hospital should something snowpocalyptic happen.

I am sure that the school age kids and the parents who got to stay home with them are greatly enjoying this. My Facebook is full of pictures of kids making sleds out of random items, and it certainly makes for beautiful and hilarious photos. But I don't know, to me, the snow seems so... not exciting. It's gorgeous. It's quiet, and peaceful, and soothes my soul. But I don't get excited about it like I did when I was a kid. There's nothing in me that wants to run outside and play in it. Maybe once my babylove is a little older, it will be fun to take him outside and play. And we just might have to bundle up this afternoon and go out anyway, just to see what he thinks about it.

So, from the middle of the snowplosion, I'll let you enjoy the rest of your day. I'll put more pics up soon, and I'm working on blogging about Jacks' birthday!

Day 30

Day 30: Something you're going to miss and something you're looking forward to.

Well, folks, we've come to the end of our 30 day blog challenge. I am actually very proud of myself for sticking with it for the most part. I have definitely blogged more in the past 30 days than ever before, and I find myself re-thinking my blog purpose and what I want to start sharing on my blog. You can look forward to a variety of things coming up. I have discovered some new blogs and have gleaned inspiration from them. I want my blog to be a place of encouragement and peace. I want you to not only stop and think but feel uplifted after reading my blogs. There may be some times that I have to vent, but overall I want this to be a positive blog. I hope you have enjoyed this 30 day journey with me.

Something you're going to miss: I am going to miss the daily challenge of my blog. I think it's going to be even MORE challenging not to have guidelines with which to work.

Something you're looking forward to: I am looking forward to summer time. Is anyone else sick of this snowy stuff? Yuck. Bring on the flip flops and tans.

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We had Babylove's 1st birthday party yesterday. You can definitely look forward to another post sometime soon (maybe not until Tues night or Wed) catching you up on that! :)

Things on my heart

Lately, I have been struggling with a few issues in my life. I am about to get real here on this blog, because I think I only have like 3 people who actually read it anyway, and I want to encourage anyone who might be struggling with some of the same issues.

I have had some problems with my hormones and female system since I was a teenager. I was put on birth control at a young age to regulate my cycles. I stayed on birth control until April of 2009, when I figured out that it was making my blood pressure skyrocket. I also hated the other side effects, like the moodiness, weight gain, and energy zap. As you can probably figure out, I got pregnant almost immediately off birth control with my sweet babylove. Fast forward a year or so. I had a great delivery and everything was going smoothly. However, as time went on, I suddenly had a six-month-old but had not a cycle since he was born. I wasn't breast feeding. Your body is designed to clean itself out every month or so, and when you go so long without doing so, it can cause problems with fertility at the least, and can lead to tumor growth at the worst. I visited with my gynecologist and he put me on birth control for a 2-month trial. I hated every moment of it. Following the 2 month trial of birth control, I went 3 months without a cycle again. In January, my doctor decided to put me on Prometrium for 10 days. Craziness in a pill, that's what it is. So, I did the 10 day trial of Prometrium, had a cycle, and now here we are, February.

This whole hormone thing has been such a struggle for me for most of my life. I want (I hope, I pray) for my body to work as it was created to work. I want for my husband to have a stable wife whose hormones do not dictate her mood. I want to know that when God is ready for us to have another child, that it will happen easily. I want to have more babies. I want to have a whole brood of babies. Will I be able to get pregnant? When should we start trying to get pregnant again? How long can this go on without me losing my mind? If we did get pregnant, how would we pay for things because I don't think I could do my current job and be bigtime pregnant? Getting pregnant would only be a short-term solution, as I don't see this changing even after another child (or two or three). What's the long term solution? At what point do I consider more drastic options?

I am a control freak standing in the face of the unknown. For the past several weeks, I have stayed up at night thinking/tossing/turning/crying/praying about it.

A couple of nights ago, in the middle of the night, I was lying awake and just pleading with God to make His will known to me. And I felt Him whisper to me, "Stop." Stop worrying. Stop trying to control this situation. Stop thinking about it. He began speaking to my heart words of peace and security in my situation. He reminded me of His faithfulness in little ways, and big ways. The next morning, as I was driving at 5 a.m. in the dark to work with my babylove in the backseat, I heard Him in my car with me, saying, "trust Me."

Trust Him. Trust Him. It is SO hard for me to lay my situations down at His feet and trust Him.

I don't know why. He has been so faithful to us in the past year. He has been so faithful to me over my entire life. So why is it difficult to trust the One Who holds my future?

So that's who I am right now. A mommy who is struggling to trust God with the future of her family. A woman standing on His promises of health, healing, and hope for her life. A child of God sitting at the foot of the cross with a burden much bigger than I can bear alone.

But I will lay that burden right there at the cross, and I will trust the Lord with all my heart. I will lean not on my own understanding, but will acknowledge His sovereign wisdom and plan.

Then Job replied to the LORD:

“I know that you can do all things;

no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

- Job 42:1-2

Day 29

I messed up! Day 28 was supposed to be "your nicknames." I'll just switch it around.

Day 29: Your nicknames.

My name, Kami, is actually a nickname. My full name is Kamala, pronounced like Pamela. Otherwise, I don't really have any. My brother B calls me Sister. And when I was pregnant, he called me Prego. Hubs and I don't really use pet names for each other. When he's joking around with me, he'll sometimes call me Ward (my maiden name).

I'm boring. I know.

Day 28

Day 28: Your goals for the month ahead.

February has gotten off to a crazy start, with the weather Tuesday and now expecting more weather on Friday. My main goal is to throw this little man a birthday party!

Oh, he melts my heart. He knows he's not supposed to have that pen. He has a monkey hanging from his pacie. He has made a total wreck of my living room. He has on his monster pajamas with the feet. If my child could be summed up in a picture, this is certainly it. I'm in love.

After that is accomplished, I am also helping host a shower for the lovely Shanna . I am super excited about this because we are doing some super-girlie, super shabby chic things that I think are going to be amazing!

February is also bringing something new - the first time I have been away from my husband AND my baby overnight. My parents are going to Hawaii next week, and I'll still have to drive to work & spend the night there, alone, while Hubs takes a couple days off work to hang out with little man. So, my goal there is to simply survive being away from my boys (and hope this silly weather decides to behave before then!)

Day 27

Day 27: Your top five favorite restaurants and your favorite things to eat there.

These are in no particular order.
Soup, salad, and breadsticks baby, with pasta e fagoli soup and a sweet tea.
Mmmm... Cantina Laredo is heavenly.

I get the enchiladas, and sometimes splurge for the spinach burrito.

As much as I love Cantina Laredo, I have a thing for super cheap, super quick Mexican as well. The folks at La Huerta pretty much know us by name. A while back, I was meeting Hubs there and I walked in and the guy at the front said, "Your husband's around the corner." Yep, we love it. I always get the Speedy Gonzales, which is apparently the same combo of items at every Mexican restaurant - an enchilada, a taco, and rice or beans (rice, please). Sometimes, only SOMETIMES, I get the chicken chimichanga. It's a whole lotta grease, but so good.

Panera! Can you get much more satisfying food? I usually do the you-pick-two and get a turkey on country bread sandwich and either baked potato soup or the macaroni and cheese.

Mike's Place - date night for me & Hubs. I love their Pasta Brantley or their create your own combo platters. Yum.

I think I have to go find some breakfast now. But I'm going to be craving Cantina Laredo all day.

Days 23-26

Whew! I am four days behind. Sorry about that folks! In the past 72 hours I have had a very sick boy, a sick husband, driven 2 hours one way to work, worked all day yesterday, got up at 3:30 am with sick baby this morning, decided to brave the winter weather where my parents live and come on home. So, now I'm safe & warm at home, my baby feels somewhat better, I have a pot of soup in the crockpot, and my parents are iced in. SO glad I decided to come on home! :)

Day 23: Your fundamental beliefs.

I could go deep with this one, but since I'm short on brain cells today, I'll keep it simple. I believe

• Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven
• Everything the Bible says is true
• God is trinity - Father, Son, Spirit
• While not everything that happens to us is good, everything that happens is according to God's purpose.
• Family comes second only to God

Those are hard. Sorry - my brain hurts too much to add any more.

Day 24: Photos of places you've traveled.

Boston is an awesome city! So many interesting things to do there.That's me in front of the skyline ^

We visited the Bahamas - gorgeous beaches! (and my skinny self was pregnant and didn't know it - I would have taken more pictures where you could see that I used to have a waist if I had known.)
The Atlantis resort in the Bahamas on Paradise Island. Most amazing hotel I've been to. We totally didn't spend the night because we were on a cruise, but we want to go back soooo badly. Key West, FL was also a fun little stop on our cruise. The beaches were rocky, not sandy, but it was a lot of fun nonetheless.

St. Louis, MO in April 2007 for the AOTA conference. Fun times!
Gore, OK - debated even putting this picture on "travels" as it is almost more like home. That's the lower Illinois River coming off the bottom of Lake Tenkiller, and as an adolescent/teen, we went almost every weekend. I have some of the best memories of my life there. Awesome things like this:

and this:

took place there. It's in my soul.
Inlet Beach, FL - we've been several times, but this photo was taken in August 2008, right after I graduated with my masters'. Fun times!

Branson, MO - Every good Arkansan vacations in Branson at least once a year.
Petit Jean Mountain, AR - we love to camp on Petit Jean. So much fun.

Day 25: Five random things you love and five random things you hate.

Love:

1. Lists
2. Blue Bell Coffee ice cream with Chocolate Fudge magic shell
3. Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Lemon Verbena cleaner
4. the beach
5. clean sheets

Hate:

1. Typos on professional advertising
2. Doing laundry
3. Shrimp
4. Laziness
5. Clothes left on the floor

Day 26: If you won the lottery, you'd:

Pay off all our debt, buy some reliable cars, stay at home with my babies (we could afford to have another!), build a realistic house with plenty of land & room for my babies as they grew up, and put the rest in savings with interest accumulating. I'm realistic here. I could do the same for about $200,000, (besides building the new house) so if you're wanting to get rid of that kind of money, let me know.

I'm going to try to get back on track tomorrow. Sorry!

On a side note - tomorrow is my baby's one year birthday! I cannot BELIEVE it has been a year. This time last year, I was so extremely uncomfortable. Glad it's this year.