humbled

Sometimes, when I am at the end of my rope - physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually - God sends a little something into my life to remind me how much He loves me. Today, He did just that. I've had a rough few days with Babylove being sick, Hubs having to work long hours plus do school at night, and just generally emotionally spent. Today, though, God gently reminded me of how much He cares about even the smallest things. Something came up in everyday conversation that just hit me in the heart, and I realized - wow.

There are a lot of people who love the Lord and who are struggling through life just to pay their bills every month. People who aren't living out their calling and hate their jobs. People who made some bad decisions along the way. People who do the best they can to get by. People who work their tail ends off to simply keep their jobs.

Not that I haven't made some bad decisions.

Not that I don't have days where I hate my job.

Not that we don't live paycheck to paycheck sometimes.

Not that we haven't been able to pay bills sometimes.

Not that we don't work hard for what we have.

But God provides for us. When it comes down to the wire, He provides. Financially, physically, REALLY provides for us. He makes the way straight before us. It brought me back to how I felt about 11 months ago. And looking back over the past year, the Lord has been more than faithful to our little family. I wish that I could tell you all the ways He has provided for us. I wish I could go into every little detail about how He has met EVERY need in perfect timing, and how He has carried every burden for me. You wouldn't even believe some of the ways He has loved on me this year. Over the past 11 months, He has led us through some uncharted territory that was scary, unexpected, and unbelievable. But HE HAS LED US.

It is so humbling to look back at the times when I doubted God's provision for us and to see how very blessed we are indeed.

Thank you, Lord, for loving me and my family right where we are. Thank you for caring about the smallest things in our life. Thank you for providing for me and not just meeting our needs but giving us an abundance. Lord, we will follow where you lead us.

Day 22

Day 22: Books on your to-read list.

Okay, books generally don't stay on my to-read list very long because I read a lot. I got a Kindle about a year ago and I use it every day, reading all kinds of things. I love Kindle because they have lots of different things to download for free. I have read all sorts of interesting things, from real estate tactics to pregnancy books to Christian fiction, and all for free. (Consider this my Kindle plug.)

So currently downloaded to my Kindle but not yet read:

• The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson (I have a strong willed child. It's tough.)
• The Teachable Moment: Seizing the Instants When Children Learn by Rebecca Branstetter (I like learning things like this, momma or OT in me I guess.)
• The Centurion's Wife by Janette Oke and Davis Bunn (I kinda like historical fiction)
• An excerpt of Black Heels to Tractor Wheels by Ree Drummond (the Pioneer Woman)
• The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows (downloaded to read in a book club that has yet to meet!)

So there you go folks.

I spent a while yesterday updating my blog layout. I finally learned how to (easily) change headers in and out and backgrounds as well. Hopefully I can keep it updated for the season, now. I also added a few pages to the top that tell a little more in depth about Tyler & me and Jackson. Hope you guys enjoy the change.

Day 21

Day 21: A photo of your pet, or an animal you wish you had as a pet.

Ok. So please don't judge me on this one. I am not an animal person.

I'll let you absorb that for a minute.

Growing up, I was never that interested in learning about animals in science class, nor did I even really care to have a pet of my own. We had several dogs over my lifetime at home, but I just didn't get into taking care of them and feeding them and brushing them and playing with them. I generally don't think animal videos are funny. I don't think pets should be included in our family photos. That's just not me. We now have a Yorkie, Daisy, but it's mainly because Hubs loves dogs. My mom always says that there must be something wrong with me. I don't abuse animals, I don't wish they were all dead - I simply don't want to be licked by and cuddle with an animal who mostly smells bad. I feel the same way about squirrels, tigers, and birds. Every animal is the same to me.

So having said that, here's a pic of Daisy, our Yorkie.

If we have to have a dog (and Hubs says we do), she doesn't require much work and she's a pretty good one to have. She sleeps a lot and doesn't bug me very much. She does pee on the floor sometimes, but we've just about gotten that under control. She cuddles on Hubs' side of the bed at night. Babylove likes playing with her.

Day 20

Day 20: Your favorite things about yourself.

Well, this is a change from yesterday's worst habits.

• I feel like I am a hard worker, and when I am at work I give myself 100% to being an OT. When I'm at home, I give myself 100% to being a wife and mommy. I get that from my dad. He taught me to do everything with the excellence that I would if Jesus Himself were coming to visit.
• I am tunnel visioned. This can either help me or hurt me, but most of the time it really does help me.
• I generally don't struggle with self-esteem issues. I have a husband who loves me unconditionally and consistently lets me know how attractive he thinks I am. I also have a heavenly Father who tells me the same. What a blessed girl I am! I guess that's one of my favorite things about my husband and my Lord, but still.
• I am proud of the fact that I am moderately a homemaker, coming from a grandmother and mother who aren't exactly the most domestic of folks. Don't get me wrong, they are great at cooking & cleaning. Somehow, though, I learned to sew and be fairly crafty without their help. (I love y'all though!)

On the home front today, Babylove has his third ear infection since Christmas. He woke up this morning with a high temp and was very lethargic. Thankfully, I got him into the doctor, and he put him on antibiotics. So much fun. Looking forward to a long night (sigh).

I've also been working hard on a couple of baby showers that I'm helping host and Babylove's one year birthday party, which is a week from Saturday. We're going to do a Yo Gabba Gabba party and it's soooo much fun coming up with crafts and inexpensive ways to decorate!

Days 18 & 19

Day 18: Your favorite books.

• Little Women by Louisa May Alcott - it's a classic. I love it. I usually read it once a year. I laugh, I cry, it moves me, Bob. This photo is actually one from the copy of the book my mom had when she was young. I love the sequels to it as well, Little Men and Jo's Boys.

• Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte - One of the most beautiful love stories ever written. This is such a classic.

• Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen - Who doesn't love Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett? I've read this so many times I can pretty much recite it.

• Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot - Elisabeth Elliot is such a wise woman. She has walked with the Lord for so long and has so much insight to impart. I respect her so very much and love to read anything she has written. This is the story of how her first husband, Jim Elliot, lived and died in the jungles of Ecuador while as a missionary there with their young family. It will change your life. You should read her devotional here.

Boy, that makes me sound a little stuffy. But those are truly some of my very favorites.

Day 19: Your worst habits.

Sometimes I think it's easy to identify these things in your spouse, coworkers, or other folks. But it starts to really hit home when you have to turn the magnifying glass on yourself. I will try to be honest here.

• I can be bossy without meaning to be.
• I hate to fold and put away laundry and occasionally (okay, frequently) leave it in the dryer or in a basket for days on end.
• I have little to no patience. When I want something, I want it then & now.
• I can be withdrawn from people sometimes. Sometimes it's easier for me to just say no, we can't do that, and I end up not interacting with people as much as is probably a healthy amount. Does that even make sense?

**********************

I have been super busy the past two days with work and I haven't had time to sit down and think about these things. So, there you go :)

A little deeper.

Over the past 6 months or so, we have gotten involved at a new church here in town. It's been really great for us as a couple and a family to find a place where we are connected, loved on, prayed for, and have the opportunity to do so for others as well. It's really interesting going through life with these people we now have around us. As some of you know, over the past year, Hubs and I have faced a few tough decisions regarding work and jobs. At the time, it was so difficult for us because we felt so alone in that struggle and we honestly just couldn't see God in it. Now, looking back, it was obvious how God provided doors for us to walk through and it was SO clear that it was His will for our family. Our situation sounds crazy to some folks, but it is truly the evidence of how much He loves us and wants what's best for us.

So tonight, after being at home group with several other families who are facing situations similar to what we have recently faced, I wonder: What would that have felt like if we had been really connected to other God-serving families at the time? How would that have influenced our decisions? How would that influence our ability to hear the Lord's voice in our lives?

I truly believe that while we ultimately made the right decision for me to cut down to part time and Hubs to take a promotion like he did, had we been surrounded by friends who were praying for God's will in our lives, we would have been able to see that much more quickly and clearer. I praise the Lord for how He has provided for us and the amazing ways He loves on us even when we can't see His will. And I praise Him for leading us into a church family that loves on us and where we feel free to simply be our own family.

Day 17

Day 17: First 15 songs that come on when you put your MP3 player on shuffle.

Before I do this, let me preface by saying:

A) I currently don't know where my iPod is.

B) My iPod is mainly my brother's iPod, because he uploaded his entire library to my iPod a couple summers ago, and his music choices are awesome. He is a music guy. He's good.

C) I don't know how to sync my iPod with my computer.

D) What's the point of having an iPod if you don't know where it is and don't know how to sync it to your computer?

E) This list came from my iTunes library, which is significantly limited as I only recently learned how to buy items from iTunes, and Tyler has put most of the music on there for me.

1. Never Know - Jack Johnson

2. Start a Band - Brad Paisley, Keith Urban

3. You Are The Best Thing - Ray Lamontagne

4. Mudfootball - Jack Johnson

5. Someday - Dave Barnes

6. One Time - Sister Hazel

7. Never Say Never - the Fray

8. You Need A Man Around Here - Brad Paisley

9. All We'd Ever Need - Lady Antebellum

10. You Found Me - the Fray

11. If I Could - Jack Johnson

12. You Can't Always Get What You Want - Glee soundtrack

13. Together - the Fray

14. Til You're Gone - Gabe Dixon Band

15. The Uncloudy Day - Brad Paisley

Ok, so my music choices sound extremely limited. And on my iTunes, they are. I usually use Pandora on my phone, because it helps me discover new music choices I might enjoy. Let me say something else - I like the style of Ray Lamontagne and we downloaded a bunch of his stuff before I realized that he uses foul language in some of his music. The same goes for Glee soundtrack - I don't like a lot of the values and morals that the show portrays, but the soundtrack is fun for us to sing along with in the car.

To give you a better idea of my musical choices when left to my own devices, my Pandora stations are as follows:

• Frank Sinatra holiday
• Collin Raye
• Taylor Swift
• Backstreet Boys
• Boyz II Men
• Bethany Dillon
• Walt Disney Children's
• Frank Sinatra
• James Morrison
• Glee Cast
• Hillsong United
• Lady Antebellum
• Ron Kenoly
• Kris Allen
• Brad Paisley
• Marc Broussard
• Chris Tomlin
• Michael Buble

Well, maybe that sounds extremely limited as well. In reality, I like most music and can enjoy just about anything except rap/hardcore screaming, especially in person.

My name is Kami. I like lists. I like bullet points. I'm a freak.